Quarantine Fatigue. 

It’s a new term, but it’s one we’ve probably all felt. It can take a toll on us mentally, emotionally, and socially. 

That’s why we invited Sirka Louca, LCSWR Psychotherapist, to join us on Lenard Team Connections. We spoke about practices we can do to stay healthy as we continue to move through these times. 

Keep reading for highlights from the show, or listen to the full conversion here. 

Some people are starting to hit a wall. What’s your advice for those that are feeling drained?

Well, that's very real. And you may have heard the term quarantine fatigue. 

We tend to do well as people when we know the parameters we're dealing with.  

So if you tell me ‘Okay, Sirka, you're gonna do 50 jumping jacks.’ I can do 50 jumping jacks. But if you say, ‘Okay, you're just going to do jumping jacks until I tell you to stop.’ My anxiety is going up because I don't know, is it 10? Is it 1,000? 

I think psychologically, people are at the point where they need to start seeing the next phase. I'm not suggesting that that happens, obviously none of us are in charge of those decisions. But, from the emotional standpoint, I think that's where the fatigue is coming from this sort of endless, ‘What's happening next, when is it happening next?’ 

You were sharing the good news of starting to see things open even though they're not here in our backyard yet. I think that's starting to lift a little bit. People are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that's very important to get people's spirits back up. 

For those who have felt like they have lost their purpose, how can they recreate that?

 A lot of people are struggling with this. And this is where creativity comes in. I think I'm going to give a couple of suggestions, but I want to preface that by saying that these are all very individualized. So everyone has to tailor any suggestions to your own self.

Some sort of a routine and a schedule is good. For some people the purpose is: I got up, I took a shower, I got dressed, I cooked myself a meal, I took care of my family. Some people need a bigger purpose, they need to get involved in some kind of an activity in the community.

The biggest thing really I think that helps people that's very important from a mental health standpoint is community. There are a lot of studies on the negative effects of isolation. So it's really important to find a community. And that, again, is different for each person. So for some people, it's literally your community, it might be your neighborhood, there might be some sort of a group that you want to join or a project that's going on in your area that you want to participate in. For some people, a community just means people that you like, who care about you that you care about. It could be your family, it could be friends, it could be people that you've never met, but it's an online community that shares some sort of an interest with you. 

On the other side of the spectrum, people who are enjoying the slower pace, their time with family, and are worried about transitioning back. 

That's coming up a lot as well. I've heard more than one person say, ‘You know, the world is finally meeting me at my pace.’ We've also all heard people talk about the positives that have come out of all of these changes. So that's one of them is that people may feel more comfortable finding that balance. Maybe there's a way to alter your life so that you can work from home or go to school from home or participate in things at home more than you felt like you could do before. So again, finding that balance for each individual person.

How about the people who are feeling some guilt? 

People feel guilt about being okay. There's a term for that - it's called survivor's guilt. We're seeing people who are watching other people lose their livelihoods, lose loved ones, be suffering with illness and they're fine. They may be fine financially, their work is something that they can continue doing. 

And it's important for those people to remember, we don't compare pain. We don't compare suffering. Pain is pain, and whatever you're feeling is what you're feeling and you don't have to feel bad that you're okay. You're not harming anyone by being okay. In fact, you're helping everybody by being okay.

Families are looking forward to a season marked with celebrations, graduations, the start of summer. This year, that isn’t happening. What do you suggest families and children do?

What's really happening is a lot of grief. That's what we're seeing. 

And with grief, it's important to acknowledge it. Grieving is a healing process. It can't heal unless we allow it to move and in order for it to move, we have to first acknowledge it. So we have to acknowledge that there's a lot of grief for everybody that's involved in the school system: the children, the parents, the teachers, the community.There's a lot of loss. And that's very real. 

So the first step in healing is to give people permission to be sad or angry. Anger is a big part of grief. Sadness is a big part of grief. And there are a lot of losses. Those of us who are fortunate to be old, lived long enough to know that on the other side of grief, there's also lots of opportunity. But you have to get through the grief to get there. And there's always gifts and new things that come on the other side of it, which don't negate the loss. The loss is there and there are other wonderful things that can come as well. So really give permission to yourself to your children. 

If it hasn't been verbally identified yet, I would suggest having a talk with your children, assuming it's appropriate, knowing your child to bring it up to them and say, ‘You know, I think I'm feeling some grief about the fact that we didn't get to celebrate all of these things the way we were hoping to. Are you feeling that?’ And give them permission to talk about it.

How can we support our heroes to make sure that they can cope and move past this going forward?

I've spoken with many frontline workers myself, I have some clients who are frontline workers, and they're definitely going through very grueling, emotionally difficult times every time they go to work. So I think we're going to need a lot of different avenues to try to help support and repair. I've seen often you know, donating money, buying lunches, buying Starbucks, and all of that's great. 

But just as a human being, just being present and not being afraid to listen. Just letting them have somebody they can talk to, because a lot of the frontline workers are there on adrenaline the whole time. They’re tackling one problem after another, and they don't have time to think, they don't have time to process. Then they come out, and they're flooded with all of these feelings. So if you can, give the gift of listening to somebody and just let them share what it's like, for them, that’s wonderful. It's priceless.

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